Speak without criticism (yes, it’s possible!)
Listen without judgment (imagine that!
Ever felt like talking with your partner is like entering a minefield without a map? You’re not alone. According to relationship experts Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt, authors of “Imago Relationship Therapy: Healing in the Space Between,” the way most couples communicate is akin to two people attempting a delicate dance—blindfolded. Spoiler alert: it rarely ends gracefully.
The Real Problem with Talking (Hint: It’s Not You, It’s Science!)
Most couples communicate horizontally—meaning everyone talks, nobody listens, and both feel misunderstood. It’s like playing tennis blindfolded, where each partner serves criticism or defensiveness, hoping something lands. No surprise, this tends to escalate conflicts rather than resolve them.
On the flip side, genuine listening (that rarest of relationship gems) happens far less frequently. Why? Because listening requires putting judgment aside, a skill most of us weren’t taught at school—or at home.
Welcome to the World of Imago Couples Dialogue
Enter the “Imago Couples Dialogue,” your relationship’s new best friend. Instead of talking horizontally (think verbal tug-of-war), Imago dialogue helps you talk vertically—deepening your connection, rather than widening the gap.
Here’s how it works:
- Speak without criticism (yes, it’s possible!)
- Listen without judgment (imagine that!)
When couples do this, something magical happens: communication stops being dangerous and actually becomes meaningful. You stop being opponents and start truly experiencing your relationship—just being with each other, authentically.
From Battlefield to Bliss
Imagine conversations where neither of you feels attacked, judged, or dismissed. Imago Couples Dialogue makes this shift happen by creating safety, presence, and empathy in your interactions. By listening deeply, you start seeing each other clearly. By speaking openly yet respectfully, you build bridges instead of barriers.
Can You Really Do This?
Absolutely. And the quickest way to master this new relational superpower is by attending an Imago Couples Intensive with Kobus van der Merwe. Kobus, known for his warmth, humor, and deep empathy, will help you replace the old “battlefield” way of communicating with a connected, safe, and joyful partnership.
The intensive doesn’t just teach you to talk better—it transforms the way you experience your relationship. You’ll leave understanding what it truly means to BE in relationship, not just survive one.
So, ready to stop dodging emotional grenades and start experiencing real connection? It’s time for an Imago Couples Dialogue—your relationship (and sanity!) will thank you.
Ready to transform your relationship? Learn more about Kobus van der Merwe’s Imago Couples Intensive today!